A Dove

a dove which was lone but strong
wondering what had gone wrong
as he flew distances that were long
but he could not figure out 
why no one came along
because he sang a tune of a simplistic song
but he wanted others to play along 
but no one came along

and he flew continuously  wondering why no one came along.

Shwetank

Solitude vs Lonliness

I cherish moments of solitude
the peace and quiet it brings to me
Letting me hear my inner voice
making me see what no one can see

But it is lonliness I deplore
this continuous longing for another soul
with whom I can truly share
Inner voice and my despair

geetika

her perfume swept me off my feet,
a raging waves hits my identity.
what bold bliss n existent serenity,
like fire meets tender timber.
what vigor n frail schism,
drowning was the only way out.


- captain looney

nazar utha k toh dekho zara, 
3aaftaab k niche itna haseen jahan basta h.
 jahan,jahan fool khilten h
 rangeen aur husn tarasha pinjara basta h


-captain looney

meheke maati aaj barsa jo saawan,
 khoob naacha mor jo aj barsa saawan. 
jo barsa saawan mujh par,
 patani kyun lagta h akela pan? 






-captain looney

PRAYER BEADS

Prayer beads on the tree,
did the elderly threw them away or did he forget what he needs?
As they lay strangled and stray,
i wonder as the leaves whisper in my ears.
the destitute across the street knows our secret (as I silently watch my reflection on d bus's window pane).
as she whispers to me chuckling, satisfaction is moksha.

-captain looney

Insecurities

It was a Bizarre Day, full of insecurities. My mind is clouded by the unlimited thoughts and worries leading to Disappointment, Dissatisfaction, Seriousness, and Loneliness; in short-bleakness.
                                               

 "Trust is to rely on someone blindly"

Trust is the main issue that is disturbing me extremely.

 Thoughts of whom to trust are making me paranoid.
I do not want to do the same mistakes again. 
I do not want to be dead again.
I do not want to face the same numbness again.

I want to fly high, but these thoughts are pulling me down and blackmailing me to cry.
I cry and cry, again and again...In hope that one day my insecurities would blow away.  I try again and again and finally manage to find a new hope from miles away. But, In a matter of few seconds, all my expectations just blow away, where my handcuffed hands can not even bring them back.

And then here I am back again with the thoughts of myself and my pool of insecurity. 

Yes off course, it hurts, much deeper than anyone can ever imagine. And this pain gives me no strength to fight.

Time is slipping away and it is night time, I am standing outside, watching the light emerging from the moon glancing through the sky. For everyone it is as appealing and beautiful as a fully bloom rose but for me it is as sad as a lonely Island in the deep blue sea.
When I glance more, I see people, I see families walking on the streets. I can hear their conversations. They are laughing, talking; they don't seem to fear anything.
       And then I look inside my heart, I am the only one standing all alone at the corner, looking up in the sky and searching for the answers of my endless questions on insecurities.......... 

                                                                                                                                        Heena Singh

JASHN-E-BACHPAN

Ajayabghar ka jamghat,
aur mein ajayabghar ka.
Mol tolei anmol milei,
mol khotei sikkon ka.
Bichai jo shatranj,
dhai ghar bhaagei ghoda.
Shabdon ki zubaan nahi bolti,
Ae jashn-e-bhachpan ! tu kahan  kho gya?

-captain looney

Passing thoughts of anxiety,.,

As a painting student i was often repeatedly asked to make the portrait of a woman beautiful and smooth and that it is a sort of dis-figuration if we distort it. In reference to that, wrote this paragraph.(one thought lead to another.)

Why is it continuously asked of me to make the woman so beautiful and soft when she bears all the pain and encrusts it, further accepts it and then when she has the weather beaten marks on her face of the passing years discarded and regarded to as ugly. Does this not question the concept of beauty?? Or is it that the term beauty is too fickle or limited.
Why is it that the woman who has been raped or physically abused  is the one looked down upon  by the so called "Great Indian Society",while the actual people who should be subjugated are the ones free and flawless.

Why ??? All the blame to the woman???

-Akanksha Khanna

About To Fly

Now I know that the time has come

coz everything is undone

It is time for me to fly

It is time for me to give another try

........As I have waited till the next dawn.

                                                                                                                                Heena Singh

ant hill

I am an ant hill.
My being is deep.
My workers die hard
to construct me from within

Lads may come and break me down
but must they know
my workers die hard
wont mind constructing me again.



-- yashul

naak ki seedh mein zindagi,
baaki sab andher nagari.
jahan duniya shayad wahin ujala hai,
jo ujale mein n chale wahi shayad dilwala hai.

-captain looney

Clouded mind

Quarrelsome thoughts revolving in her head

Emotional imbalance of future ahead,

Present is torture, past is revolting

Time is slippery and now her Mind is collapsing,

She is fragile, they know that already

Life is painful, thoughts are not steady,

When the Empty pocket becomes a shameful experience

You end up dreaming of fairy like convenience,

When the eyes of her mother shed those tears

Her dream changes to become a billionaire.

                                                                  - Heena Singh

INSOMNIA

Insomnia Prevailing,too much sleep deprivation I am facing

Coming up with ideas that are entertaining,It Involves strokes of gray along with pencil shading

It is not a painting,just something engaging,as I stare at the dark foggy skies random thoughts are paving

There is sort of difficulty in discriminating,as it is difficult to see beyond the metal railings

ALAS,on this cold and foggy night there is insomnia prevailing.


Shwetank

janaza

yeh dastoor nahin hai khuda ka,
yeh dastoor hai insaaniyat ka.
jo mar kar mera janaza utha,
woh kya mein jiya? woh kya mein mara?



- captain looney

Destined Fate

Few days back while sifting through my books i spotted a yellowish looking paper with very small print on it. On a closer look I realized it was a short story i had written back in year 2003. Rather it had been a product of a very boring and uneventful day at office. I had really liked it then and shared it only with some close friends.But as it is usual of me I lost the only print-out i had taken of the story and soon forgot all about it.I somehow never tried my hand at story writing again. In these days of retrospection its great to have found that story...

Here is finally the 'Destined Fate'

And after the long wait finally the time came for executing her duty once again. It was usually a simple task but the old woman clung to those few breaths with all her might, making it terribly difficult for D this time. D had always been proud of her capacities and seeing them thus challenged by a frail dying old woman made her furious. Sometime back the old woman had pushed her out and she had no choice but to succumb to the act. In hearts of their hearts both knew D was invincible but that knowledge did not deter the latter’s resistance.

D decided to let the old woman have her way for sometime. Maybe that would make her realize the inevitable destiny. Thinking thus, out she flew through the window and began witnessing the scenes of daily life. Aimlessly floating and contemplating D came to an open window which revealed a very cozy and lively room. Peeping inside the window D caught sight of a beautiful young girl lying on a sofa…probably deep asleep…The girl M was absolutely still, like death itself…how peacefully she slept. D looked at her for some time but there was no movement in M’s body. Suddenly D got a wicked idea. She quietly glided in the room and spread her frozen limbs in M’s youthful body, thus turning her into cold marble.D knew very well it was an offence for which she would surely be punished but the temptation of doing the unexpected was too much o resist. M was as motionless as before…but there was a drastic difference now….Now she was dead. Lying still as a statue she had invited death to reside in her.

After some time another young girl K barged in the room. Sitting on the edge of the sofa next to M she began chatting. Getting no response she touched M on her forehead and instantly a chill ran down her spine. Taking courage she tried in vain to locate latter’s pulse and heart beat. The sudden shock of her friend’s untimely death brought a terrible shriek from her and she began to cry hysterically.

All this hue and cry woke D up who had gone off to sleep in M’s body. As soon as D saw K she realized her mistake and was scared to see a friend weeping and wailing over what had not been ordained…what was just a whim…what was not true…M has a long life ahead. D had to leave before it was too late. Noiselessly she escaped M’s body and flew out of the open window.

Suddenly there was a movement in M’s body ..as if she was getting up from a deep sleep. She opened her eyes and saw a white faced and terribly shaken K. She put her hands on K's shoulder and tried taking her hand but the latter had already run out of the room…out of the house...out on the road. Running frantically with fear written all over her face K could hardly see a pick-up van which ran over her ending all her fears and worries forever;

On the other side D had won the battle. The old woman had finally given up. The ultimate look of defeat and surrender on her victim’s face elated D. She calmly resided in latter’s body. After her much awaited victory D had to immediately reach the road T for her next assignment. As D reached the place she saw K running madly on the middle of the road. It was not with a triumphant smile but a very heavy heart that D spread her limbs in K as the pick-up van crushed the latter’s body.

 

geetika

The Mystery Day

                                                                                                                                      As she was about to leave, he wanted few hours from her vitality (life) .He was her best friend, her trust and her confusing priority, she was willing to do anything for him.

Life is sometimes confusing and sometimes fascinating.

Her life was exhausting and winded up in the world of her confused sanity.

She was puzzled if she should be doing this or she should just walk away from the question of confusion! She was scared of the future and was scared of hurting someone close .Then that man held her hands and whispered in her ears- ‘I need few hours from your life for just once and for the last time before you go...I love you...and I know that you do not, and you don't have to say anything about it’.

 While fighting with her inner fears and insecurities, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and gave herself to him. She gave her body, mind and soul.

It feels as if the day was designed for them, it was meant to happen.

Hunger called. While she was in the kitchen preparing a midday meal, he sang a song that he wrote for her. He played and sang in such a beautiful way that tears came into her eyes. She wanted to embrace that man firmly and wanted to say Thank You but she did not, she kept her feelings with herself, because she knew it that she can never give another promise to anyone. So instead of looking at his face she concentrated on the meal.

What was it? Love? Indication? Hint?

Whatever that was, it changed her life. It changed her relationship with the man she was with. She thought everything will blow away like the passing wind and the circumstances would be back to normal again, but she did not realise that, that day changed everything.

Her world was already complicated and the current situation made it even more. Loving another guy was something she would have never thought of but it happened and it changed everything and could not do anything about it.

                                                                                                     

                                                                                           - Heena Singh

Bad Weather..Seems like Forever

The blatant weather is like a tidal wave crashing on a ships hull
the weather is dull,reminds me of something like which is in resemblance with null
the wind is getting colder,which is freezing my skull
i hope that this weather changes like a fast flight of seagulls,
it is uneasy to giggle,as the cold winds fiddle
sometimes the weather is like angels,sometimes like abysmal
what will it take to make it cheerful,from awful

Shwetank

Musings

Existence
Unsolved mystery
This unbreakable code
Mocking
All our senses

Yet

Yearning
This hopeless yearning
Yearning to know
Neither feels insulted
Nor dies a silent death

geetika

A Thought

I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another,I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog.

Shwetank