Insecurities

It was a Bizarre Day, full of insecurities. My mind is clouded by the unlimited thoughts and worries leading to Disappointment, Dissatisfaction, Seriousness, and Loneliness; in short-bleakness.
                                               

 "Trust is to rely on someone blindly"

Trust is the main issue that is disturbing me extremely.

 Thoughts of whom to trust are making me paranoid.
I do not want to do the same mistakes again. 
I do not want to be dead again.
I do not want to face the same numbness again.

I want to fly high, but these thoughts are pulling me down and blackmailing me to cry.
I cry and cry, again and again...In hope that one day my insecurities would blow away.  I try again and again and finally manage to find a new hope from miles away. But, In a matter of few seconds, all my expectations just blow away, where my handcuffed hands can not even bring them back.

And then here I am back again with the thoughts of myself and my pool of insecurity. 

Yes off course, it hurts, much deeper than anyone can ever imagine. And this pain gives me no strength to fight.

Time is slipping away and it is night time, I am standing outside, watching the light emerging from the moon glancing through the sky. For everyone it is as appealing and beautiful as a fully bloom rose but for me it is as sad as a lonely Island in the deep blue sea.
When I glance more, I see people, I see families walking on the streets. I can hear their conversations. They are laughing, talking; they don't seem to fear anything.
       And then I look inside my heart, I am the only one standing all alone at the corner, looking up in the sky and searching for the answers of my endless questions on insecurities.......... 

                                                                                                                                        Heena Singh